How to Stop Your Anxious Thoughts: Insights from an Anxiety Therapist

As an anxiety therapist, one of the most common questions I get from clients is: "How can I stop my anxious thoughts?" Anxiety often feels like a constant companion, and many people want to know how to get rid of the overwhelming and intrusive thoughts that seem to take over their minds. While it may not be possible to completely "stop" anxiety from happening, there are effective strategies to manage these thoughts and regain a sense of control.

Let’s dive into why anxious thoughts happen and, more importantly, how you can begin to manage them.

Why Do Anxious Thoughts Feel So Hard to Control?

Anxiety can be tricky because the thoughts that accompany it often feel uncontrollable and overwhelming. You might find yourself thinking “What if this happens?” or “What if I fail?” and, despite knowing on some level that these thoughts may not be based in reality, they still feel incredibly real and convincing.

This happens because anxiety works by hijacking your brain’s natural mechanisms for predicting danger. Even when there’s no immediate threat, your brain keeps scanning for potential problems, creating a loop of worry and what-if scenarios. In many cases, anxiety causes your brain to fixate on fears of the unknown, even when there’s no concrete reason to worry.

So, How Can You Stop Anxious Thoughts?

While it’s not realistic to expect anxious thoughts to disappear entirely, there are definitely ways to reduce their frequency and intensity. Here are some strategies I often share with my clients to help them take control of their anxious thinking:

1. Practice Mindfulness and Grounding Techniques

Mindfulness is a powerful tool for managing anxiety. By staying present in the moment, you can stop your mind from spiraling into anxious thinking about the future. Grounding techniques—such as focusing on your breath or naming five things you can see around you—can help bring you back to the present and interrupt the flow of anxious thoughts.

A simple practice like deep breathing can activate your parasympathetic nervous system, helping you feel calmer in moments of anxiety. Try focusing on your breath and taking slow, deep inhales for a count of four, holding for four, and exhaling for four. This can help you feel more centered when anxiety is building.

2. Challenge Your Thoughts with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

One of the most effective ways to stop anxious thoughts is to challenge them. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) focuses on identifying irrational or distorted thoughts and replacing them with more balanced, realistic ones.

For example, if you catch yourself thinking, "What if I fail at this project?" try asking yourself:

• What’s the evidence that I will fail?

• What’s the worst that could happen, and how likely is that outcome?

• Have I been successful in similar situations before?

By examining your thoughts critically, you can reduce the power they have over you. Instead of accepting them as fact, you learn to challenge their validity.

3. Use Thought Stopping Techniques

When you notice yourself spiraling into anxious thoughts, one helpful technique is to mentally tell yourself “Stop!” and redirect your attention to something else. This isn’t about pushing your thoughts away, but rather about interrupting the cycle of worry and creating a space between the thought and your emotional reaction.

You might also try visualizing a stop sign or imagining a mental barrier that prevents you from going down the same anxious thought path. From there, gently refocus on something grounding, like your breath or your current task at hand.

4. Recognize When You’re Feeding Anxiety

Sometimes, we unknowingly feed our anxiety by ruminating on our worries. For example, you might replay a situation over and over, imagining worst-case scenarios, or continue to search for reassurance from others, only to find that the anxiety persists.

Learning to recognize when you’re feeding your anxiety is key. When you notice yourself in this cycle, try to interrupt it by engaging in a healthy distraction or redirecting your focus to something more positive. Acknowledge the thought without letting it take over.

5. Practice Self-Compassion

It’s easy to get frustrated with yourself when anxious thoughts persist, but self-criticism only intensifies anxiety. Instead, try to approach yourself with compassion. Remind yourself that anxious thoughts are a natural part of being human and that it’s okay to feel anxious sometimes.

A helpful self-compassion practice might involve speaking to yourself as you would to a close friend. For example, instead of thinking, “Why can’t I just stop being anxious?” try thinking, “It’s okay to feel anxious. I’m doing the best I can, and I can work through this.”

6. Use Relaxation Techniques to Soothe Your Nervous System

Your body and mind are closely connected, so calming your physical state can also help calm your thoughts. Relaxation techniques like progressive muscle relaxation, visualization, or deep breathing exercises can help counteract the physiological effects of anxiety.

You might also find that incorporating regular physical activity into your routine—whether it's walking, yoga, or another form of exercise—can help regulate anxiety over time by releasing endorphins and reducing overall stress levels.

7. Try Journaling to Get It Out of Your Head

Writing down your anxious thoughts can be a powerful way to clear your mind and see things more objectively. Journaling gives you an opportunity to externalize your worries, and in the process, you may realize that some of your fears are exaggerated or irrational.

Try setting aside time each day to jot down your thoughts and feelings. You can also make note of what’s going well and any progress you’ve made in managing your anxiety. This can help shift your focus from the anxious thoughts to a more balanced perspective.

Can Therapy Help Me Stop My Anxious Thoughts?

If you find that your anxious thoughts are overwhelming or persistent, therapy can be incredibly helpful. Therapists can work with you to identify the root causes of your anxiety, teach you coping techniques like CBT or mindfulness, and help you develop a personalized plan for managing your thoughts and feelings.

There’s no need to face anxiety alone. Therapy offers a safe space where you can explore your thoughts and receive the guidance you need to break free from anxiety’s grip.

Final Thoughts

Stopping anxious thoughts completely may not always be possible, but it’s absolutely possible to learn how to manage them. By using techniques like mindfulness, cognitive restructuring, self-compassion, and relaxation practices, you can begin to take control of your thoughts and reduce their power over you.

Remember: You don’t have to let anxiety control your life. With practice, patience, and the right support, you can create space between your anxious thoughts and your emotional response, allowing you to live more freely and peacefully.

If you’re struggling to manage your anxious thoughts, don’t hesitate to reach out to a therapist who can help guide you through the process of finding balance and peace of mind.